To all those who understood ‘what lies beneath’ the tagline,
today is a dark day in the life of every Indian youth. To all those who didn’t get
the tagline, your subscription of Chota Bheem needs a renewal. This is a letter
to our Indian government on why banning ‘it’ is not only an encroachment of
some of our fundamental rights; it is also an end to the folklore that ‘it’
used to generate when we were young.
To,
The Prime Minister,
Sir,
You have banned it haven’t you? Till beef, it was kind of
tolerable, but now that you have encroached upon the contents of the brief, it
hurts. News channels are running news that all the websites showing it are now
saying ‘Server not found.’
The only question I have to you Sir is – Why it?
For times infinite, it has shaped the adolescence of the
youth. It was the only light at the end of the deep dark tunnel. When parents
used to ‘shoo’ us while a condom ad ran on television, when shrubs used to
shake as the hero and heroine got cozy in the garden, when grannies used to
cite ‘bird’ and ‘bees’ as the reason of our arriving on this planet – we did
know something fishy was going on. Some deep dark chamber of secrets that
needed opening. Finally during the
engineering days, we saw it. And that’s when
the flood gates opened. Of clarity that is.
Yes. It was the only thing that helped prevent our concepts
of screwing from getting screwed. We realized the power that we possessed. The
power to rise. The power to stand up to our emotions. It made us better men,
and perhaps better human beings. We finally had the answer on what we needed to
do that fateful honeymoon night. It saved us from humiliation of being an
absolute imbecile. When our Bio teachers failed to clarify the essential
processes of life, simply because they were too shy - it came to our rescue.
And that is its’ biggest contribution. You ban it? Give it the credit it so
very much deserves.
Also, how can we forget the bonds of friendship that it developed?
The moment we knew that the last bench guy had a disk that contained it, we would
try to be friends with the person, come what may. Yes Sir, religion divides, it
unites. Because united we stand, without it, we fall. How can we forget the beautiful exercise of
tracing the directory path of the shared LAN network and rummaging through the
folders to guess which one would have loads of it. Normally the directory path
would read something like >
Study Material >
Java Code > Hard Code >
Bhajans. Needless to say the thrill of
landing on the final folder used to raise our spirits and dampen a lot of other
things. And who would forget the alacrity with which we used to press the ‘Swap’
button on the remote when parents used to enter our rooms while we were watching
it. Today you have destroyed those reminiscences.
You think it makes the society perverse. You say it wrecks
the youth. You are wrong Sir. We are from the land of Kamasutra. It is in our
DNA. 125 plus crore Indians didn’t come by mitosis. Look at the statues of Khajuraho.
Are you now going to pixilate those statues too? If you are so hell bent on not
ruining our minds, please ban Sasural Simar ka, where a cat is shown to have
the power to raise hell on a whole family. Next thing, you would ban non-veg
jokes on Watsapp. You need to realize we know what is right and what is wrong
for us. Do you get it? Opps, I know you don’t get it, coz you have just banned
it. Hell, what will these politicians now watch on their cell phones! Mata ka
jagrata? Well I am a little doubtful about that.
We as Indians take pride in the Freedom of doing
things. I mean, it is that freedom which
has created 125 crore Indians. By this single act, you have made a mockery of
everything that freedom stands for. Hell, go and regulate it. But do you think
banning it is the solution? No Sir. The world has torrent. All you will do is
create more illegal ways of getting it. Trust me, anybody who says they have
grown up not watching it, are lying. It has played the role of a teacher. Inspiring
us to rise to greater heights with every attempt. The youth (and the old) will
get it some way or the other.
A word of advice sir. If you are so hell bent on creating a
better society, accelerate the proceedings against those who rape. Teach young
people to object when their parents demand or provide dowry. Ban the customs
which encourage female infanticide. You think it demeans the ethos of the
society. If anything, it makes you a better human being. Makes you respect your
body and physique. It creates a feeling of oneness that goes beyond religions,
caste and gender.
Because you know every one of us, has been there and seen
it. And that, like it or not – is the harsh reality.
Yours faithfully
An Indian
