Dedicated to all those who have read my stories … and found it to have a heart .

THE STORY SO FAR…….

Prakarsh Tiwari is doing his MBA at the Indian Institute of Welfare and Management . He is the events co-ordinator of his batch , has got a cool gang Badmaash Company which has Preety , Vibha , Nitu , Ankita as its other members . Life is almost perfect . Only trouble is that he is in love with a Brahmin girl who studied with him in Class 12. He doesn’t realize this till the third year of his graduation when he has a chance meet with Rishika who was here to do a project at ISI . When she was leaving for Delhi after completing the project, she left with two things , her project report , and Prakarsh’s heart…………However things take an unknown turn when he meets Priyadarshini , the girl who studied with him in Presidency College . Prakarsh once had feelings for her , but soon they drifted apart because of misunderstandings and petty fights. Priyadarshini turns out to be a friend of Rishika too .

OF SOMETHING CALLED LOVE

The love story of a Brahmin boy ….. its complicated.

CHAPTER 4

THE PAST THAT HE NEVER WANTED

During the Managerial Economics class , Preeti looked at me and said , “ Is there a problem ?”

“Nothing ,” I lied to her and I knew she did not believe me.

In the canteen , Arobindo Haldar , my Presidency buddy and now my Bchool mate ,came to me “ Hey , Prakarsh , did you hear ? FIFA 2011 has hit the stores.”

I felt like kicking him .

“ Saale sab teri wajah se hua hai . If in Presidency you would not have pointed at her , I would probably never have noticed her .”

I explained to her my chance meet with Priyadarshini . Arobindo as usual was not ruffled.

“How was I to know she was in Rishika’s friend list ?” he asked me .” Don’t worry , tu sambhaal lega . Tu stud hai .”

The problem was I did not understand what was bothering me so much . Was it the fear that Priyadarshini would tell about ‘US’ to Rishika . Or was it some feeling that I had still left for her . But if that was so , I was not being honest with Rishika , was I ? Uff .. calculus was way easier than life’s problems , I thought .

After the last class on Portfolio Management ended , I went to meet Rishika . Three days more and she would be off to her college in Benaras.

I met Rishika at City Centre . After a quick chat , I messaged Priyadarshini .

“Can we meet at the Coffee House . Its important.”

For ten minutes , no reply came . But then my cell phone beeped .

“7.00 pm” Short and sweet . I looked at my watch . It was six. I went to the Kali temple at Thanthaniya . When I was in Presidency , I used to visit this temple every Thursday. But after getting into MBA , life became so busy that I just couldn’t find the time . As I looked at Goddess Kali , I prayed for some peace . Then I made a wish . The same wish that I used to make every time I visited the temple during my graduation days.As a child I never ever wished anything from God . When the time comes , I will , I used to say. I had only retorted to her when my sister in law was about to deliver a baby and the doctors had said that the pregnancy was critical . Goddess Kali had listened to my wish that time . Please God one more time , I told her . I promised that I would offer two garlands in the temple if my wish turned out to be true.

Fifteen minutes later , I started for Coffee House . Priyadarshini was waiting for me . She showed no reaction on seeing me . I gave her a faint smile .

“I didn’t think that I would be seeing you again .” I said .

She looked at her watch .

“Even I didn’t . I was here for a management training program organized by my company . Had I known Rishika was calling me , to meet you , I would never have come .”

Her voice was very shrill .She looked different , tired. Banks do that to you . Priyadarshini had cracked CAT in her first attempt itself and got a chance at IIM Khozikode. She was currently working as an equity researcher for Morgan Stanley in Banglore.

“Priyadarshini , I called you to tell , I mean .. ask …” words were not coming out . I was finding it difficult to speak . Three years ago I would have asked her anything . But today as I sat beside her she almost felt like a stranger.

“Prakarsh , I know what you want to ask . Let me put your fears to rest . I have told Rishika nothing . Don’t worry.” She replied.

“Actually I just met Rishika today and told her everything .”

She was a little taken aback.

“Yes , because I think she has the right to know .” I remarked.

She didn’t say anything. She just looked at her watch.

“I just want to ask you . I mean , I know I don’t have any right to . But are you … I mean is Sanjay ….”

Thank God girls have a good sixth sense . Priyadarshini understood what I was asking .

“I am marrying Sanjay next January .” she replied, her voice still very rigid.

Something inside me felt good. Infact it felt brilliant .

“Though I can’t see why that is any of your business.” she said and looked at her watch again .

I knew that it was time to leave . I stood up . I wanted to ask her a lot of things , because I knew we would never meet again . I wanted to ask her why she did not reply to my mails , why did she say the things that she said about my behavior towards her , I wanted to tell her how happy I was for her . But I did not .

As I was leaving , for just one final time I turned around . She raised her eyebrows.

“Believe me , if anything concerns you , it will always be my business.”

And then I walked away from her … forever……

Before catching the train I went back to Thanthaniya Kali temple once again. From the shop that stood near the temple I asked for two garlands.

“Bahut khush lag rahe hain bhaiya ?” the shopkeeper asked me as he handed me the two garlands neatly wrapped in a paper.

“Haan bhaiya ji , bahut din se Kali ji se kuch maang raha tha , aaj mil gaya .” I replied.

Now let me tell you a few things before I try to erase Priyadarshini from my memories forever. Whenever Priyadarshini and I had a fight , I would visit this temple and pray that Sanjay’s family accept her , because I knew that she would never ever be happy with me .Even after we stopped talking to each other I prayed the same for her . I have no doubt in my mind that Priyadarshini must have tried everything possible to make situations normal between us . I also believe that she must have had some compelling reasons for not replying to my malis or for that matter behaving the way she did . Whatever problems that did creep between us were probably due to my short temperedness and my hasty decision making . I have absolutely no regrets or complains from her . I just hope and pray that she finds happiness and success in her life and that Sanjay keeps her really happy and turns out to be a true friend , something that I could never be.

…………………………………..

At night before sleeping , I took out my diary and scribbled the following.

RULES THAT I WILL FOLLOW FROM TODAY.

1) Never allow your past to screw up your present or for that matter yourfuture

2) Always give more than hundred percent to any friendship , you may not get back that much in return , but then friendship in not equity where the real rate of return has to match the expected rate.

3) Never ever ever fall in love with a girl.

As I tucked my diary in my drawer , my cell phone beeped . Rishika ..

Rishika : Hero , problem solve hua ?

Me: Yes , I think , she will hate me a little less now . Atleast I hope so.

For a second we both were quiet . Then she spoke.

Rishika : Forget it . Ok , I just called to tell that my reservation has been confirmed .

Me: oh .. I almost forgot . Day after tomorrow na ?

Rishika : Hmm. Placements bhi start hone hai .

Again a moment of silence.

Me: Thanks for today . I really needed to talk to someone.

Rishika : No probs . I am relieved that you got to talk with her . I never knew so much had happened between you two.

What so much ? Nothing had happened between us , I wanted to tell her.

Me: Ya , but I could not say to her all that I wanted .

Rishika : And what was that ?

Me: I wanted to remind her that she still had my Jeffery Archer book . I wish she would have got that for me.

I could hear a roar of laughter from the other side.

Rishika : You know , after all these years you haven’t changed ?

For a moment I was taken aback . I remember , during one of the many fights that I had with Priyadarshini , she had remarked , you know what Prakarsh , even after all the fights that we have had , you haven’t changed .

Rishika’s last sentence kind of dumbfounded me . I could not speak anything .

As I was about to sleep , with a light heart , and some past memories , my cell phone vibrated again . A message from Rishika.

“Its true that you have never changed , but then that is what makes you so good. Don’t you dare change .”

I quickly woke up and took out the diary from my drawer . I just added another rule that I intended to follow all my life .

4) To rule number 3 there can be an exception under special circumstances.

And then I started snoring .

……………………

Next day , Arobindo , Shahid ( from the junior events team ) and myself were in the canteen . Shahid was showing me photographs from the Puja trips on his laptop. Suddenly Arobindo , tapped my hand and pointed towards the corner . A girl was standing talking to a few seniors .

“She is Rashmi Jalan . from the sports management department . Sahi hai na ?”

I didn’t reply . Shahid nodded and said , “Class mein sab ise JALWA bulaatein hain .” They giggled.

I turned Shahid’s laptop towards me , logged into my Facebook account , went into Rishika’s profile .

“What did you tell her name was ?” I asked.

“Rashmi Jalan ,” both replied , in chorus.

I typed the name RASHMI JALAN in the search option of Rishika’s friend list and pressed ENTER. “NO MATCHES FOUND.” I heaved a sigh of relief.

I looked at the girl ,turned to Shahid and Arobindo and then remarked , “Sahi hai boss .”

And then …. We laughed.

…………………………………….

A story by Pranay Tiwari.

The second last part of the tragedy … , next Sunday .. the beginning of the end will start next week.

Dedicated to all those with whom I have fought …. and finally reconciled. But I fear that things will never be normal again .
THE STORY SO FAR…….
Prakarsh Tiwari is doing his MBA at the Indian Institute of Welfare and Management . He is the events co-ordinator of his batch , has got a cool gang Badmaash Company which has Preety , Vibha , Nitu , Ankita as its other members . Life is almost perfect . Only trouble is that he is in love with a Brahmin girl who studied with him in Class 12. He doesn’t realize this till the third year of his graduation when he has a chance meet with Rishika who was here to do a project at ISI . When she was leaving for Delhi after completing the project, she left with two things , her project report , and Prakarsh’s heart…………

OF SOMETHING CALLED LOVE
The love story of a Brahmin boy … its complicated.

CHAPTER 3

THE OLD FLING

If asked to venture a guess , a keen observer with an eye for detail would put Shreya Dasgupta , the junior events coordinator’s weight at 47 kilos . Now as I looked at her gobbling her 5th slice of the pizza I was sure she must have added a pound or two to her kitty . Alongside her, Ishita Datta , another member of the junior events team was merrily sipping a glass of Choclate Mocha Shake . I looked at them , then at the menu , and then at the prices , and then at my cell phone calculator . INSIGHT , the first big event of our Bschool was over , and as a rule , the treat was on me . It is at times like these I don’t want to be the senior events coordinator. I had already told the junior events team that the maximum ceiling for a pauper like me at the place like Pizza Hut was Rs 1500 . Now as I looked at the bill , with Rs 2500 marked on it along with two smilies , I felt my pockets burning . I looked at Shreya , she just smiled at me as if to say , Why should boys have all the fun ? I turned around to Noor , from my senior events team , “Hapsi hai dono ke dono .” I remarked . Noor nodded . But somehow I didn’t mind . Today I couldn’t mind anything . As I was leaving Pizza Hut , my cell phone beeped . A message . “ Am waiting for you at City Centre , Rishika .” I smiled . Rishika had come home for ten days . ‘ A mini vacation , she had remarked . I was really excited . This was the first time I would be meeting her after eternity . I quickly bade my team goodbye and off I went to City Centre . The real party for me began now .

I have never liked City Centre . The place is way too sophisticated for my comfort . It took me an hour to reach there . I called Rishika . Block B , KFC. What was she doing at KFC ? Brahmins and KFC don’t go hand in hand . They sell chicken … we are not even allowed to see chicks . I entered the place and saw Rishika seated at the farthest corner of the place . She was looking like a dream . Blue suit , hairs untied , khol lining her eyes … it is at times like these I want to thank god … Good job boss… She didn’t notice me as she was busy talking with a girl whose back faced me . I went near her and she saw me , gave a great smile . Then she remembered that I was late and so the demeanor changed to a frown .
“ Yeh time hai aane ka ?”
I just gave her a guilty smile . I still could not see her friend .
Then the girl rose from her seat and turned back . As she turned , someone also pulled the ground beneath me …. Or atleast that’s how I felt .
“ Hey , meet my friend and yours too ,” she giggled. “Just called her up to join me here .”
Whether Rishika mentioned her name or not , I didn’t hear … I never needed to . Because I knew her . Priyadarshini Sinha , the girl with whom I had decided to spend the rest of my life , well almost .
……………………………………………….

In Presidency College ,every cool gang has a girl locator, one who keeps track of all the girls of the college and according to past experience and data provided to him by seniors who held the same august designation , classifies the girls as , APPROACHABLE , INACCESSIBLE , TIME WASTE. The last category catalogued only those girls who either had macho boyfriends or who looked very ordinary . Arobindo Halder was the girl locator of our Economics batch at Presidency . He had earned that post , let me tell you and he deserved it . “They say Taxonomy is difficult . wait till you do what I do ?”, he would say. But nobody ever questioned his classification and as such all the dating as well as break up plans were made after a thorough consultation with him.
Just three months had passed and we had become very close friends . Arobindo and I were sitting in the canteen , when he pushed my elbow . I followed his eyes and looked at the girl . “Priyadarshini Sinha, “ he remarked . “Isiko higest mila hai last exam mein.” I looked at her carefully . There was some story in her face . I found it pretty depressing .
“Status kya hai ?” I asked .
“INACCESSIBLE, has only one friend with whom she talks . Not a very gregarious person . Likes to keep to herself .”
I looked at her once again .
“ Chod na yaar . Koi interest nai hai mujhe .”

Next day , our seats had changed , and I found myself sitting just behind the canteen girl . After the Managerial Economic period ended , she took out her Ipod , plugged her ear phones and was lost in music . I tapped her shoulder , “ Hey what are you listening to ?”
She stared at me as if I wasn’t meant to exist .
“ Keith Urban , Sweet thing. “ she relpied and then turned away .
I looked at Aurobindo and said , “ Abbey yeh ladki zandu hai , English gaana sunti hai .”
Now it was my turn to be tapped on the shoulder .
“Tum kya sunte ho ?” she asked .
“ Bhojpuri songs . “ I replied , and then sang “ Missed call marah taru, kiss debu kaa ho” I tried to complement th e vulgarity of the song’s meaning by my vigorous lips movements . The girls sitting next to her laughed . I felt like a hero. I was about to sing the next line along with another set of exaggerated vulgar movements when she turned away.
“Mast gaana hai na ?” I asked .
She didn’t reply . Just turned and gave me a ‘ I will pretend you don’t exist’ look.
As time passed ,however , we started talking . And as time passed more , we started talking more . At nights we would spend hours chatting , doing projects together . In college we made sure that we partnered each other in making presentations . Infact a lot of people started thinking that we were a couple . I however knew perfectly well that Priyadarshini had a boyfriend , Sanjay Pandey , who was a software engineer and a good one at that . I was content with being her friend . Infact she was the closest person for me in the college. We shared our secrets , our triumphs , pains and a lot more . It was during one of the late night gtlak sessions that she told me about the problems with her love life . Sanjay Pandey was a Brahmin , and hence their family was against him getting married to her . Though few people in Sanjay’s family did agree to this marriage , most of the old people didn’t . I felt really sad for her . Perhaps because I knew her problem . Even I was a Brahimn .

One night during a chat , she put forth a question that I had never expected .
Priyadarshini :Have you ever thought of me as you girl friend .
I didn’t know what to say
Me : Umm… I guess I have .
Priyadarshini : Still you dnt get angry when I discuss Sanjay with you ?
Me : I know , you would be the happiest with him . and I want you to be happy .
We talked a little more . As I was about to log off , I asked her ,
Me : Tell me , what would your reply be if I proposed to you .
Priyadarshini : I would certainly let you knw by the third year . He he .
I didn’t know what the ‘he he’ was for .

As days passed I started giving serious thought to this question . Commitment was not a joke , moreover she was already committed . I didn’t know what to do . Did I have to do anything at all for that matter ? One day , I told her that if she ever needed me , she would find me with her .

“ Do you need a formal proposal or something ? “ I asked .
She laughed , “ No I don’t . I will let you know without that also .”
We both smiled . For some strange reason I always prayed that Sanjay’s family accept her . Somepart of me would probably feel bad , I guess . But then I always knew she would be happier with him. Always.
……………………………………
But then problems started creeping up between us . At first it started with small fights . Then the arguments turned more nastier , and the topics pettier .Probably we had become so close that we had started expecting a lot from each other . And as my life had taught me, expectation is the mother of all screw ups. Most of the days , after an argument ,we would not talk to each other . Then she would send a mail to me explaining , the problem ,and my faults . We would reconcile . But again we would find some new topic to fight over . One day things came to such a pass that I decided we needed some time off from each other . We stopped talking completely. During one of those days I had an issue with an idiot , who accused me of fighting with Priyadarshini only because I knew I had no chance with her , that she was happy with her boyfriend and so I had decided to ‘move on ‘. What the hell ? To prove that idiot wrong I showed the gtalk chats that I had with Priyadarshini , a mistake for which I have never ever forgiven myself . The idiot told Priyadarshini about me leaking the chats. They say hell hath no fury as a woman scorned … and they are damn right . Priyadarshini too showed my chats to that idiot. Told the idiot that I had indeed behaved ‘desperately’ with her sometimes . ( I have never forgiven her for that statement) Thus as you see we were behaving like kids . In the end I stopped talking with the idiot . I had already stoped talking with Priyadarshini . The next day , I found that she had deleted me from her Orkut , Facebook and gtalk list . I send her a mail trying to explain a few things but it did not work out . Thus ended a friendship that people thought would manage to go the whole distance. After that incident , all things changed for me . I went back into my shell , never wanting to come out of it . I seldom laughed , never went out with my friends or for that matter participated in any cocurricular activity . Life had almost lost its meaning when one day I met Rishika on the train . She had come here to do a project for ISI . With her around , life changed , and changed for the better .The rest as they say was planned to be.
………………………………………..
I didn’t realize I was still at KFC. I didn’t talk much during the meeting with Rishika , nor did I look at Priyadarshini . Somehow I didn’t want to be reminded of the past .
I returned home . I had an assignment to complete but I could not concentrate . I turned on the television with the hope that it would take my mind off the evening.
A movie channel was airing the movie , I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER . What the hell , I told myself , and changed the channel . The movie being played on the next channel was , I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER . I felt sick . I pressed the remote control . A hindi movie channel, EK CHOTI SI BHOOL . What?? It was as if the heavens were conspiring against me . No more movie channels .Let me watch a sitcom . I tuned to STAR WORLD . No sitcoms , but a reality show . THE MOMENT OF TRUTH…. Atleast this was better than those movies , I convinced myself . A muscular looking man was waiting for his next question . “ ARE YOU FAITHFUL TO YOU CURRENT GIRL FRIEND ? “ ……
I turned the television off and looked up at the skies. Its not helping , God , I wanted to tell him .
That night Rishika rang me up .
Rishika : Prakarsh , are you ok ?
Me : Yes , why do you ask ?
Rishika : Because you were not talking today .
Me : Nothing like it .
Rishika : And how did you like meeting your old friend , Priyadarshini .
Me : Girlfriend , who told you she was my girlfriend .
Rishika : Arrey buddhu , maine bola friend . She is in my FaceBook list . She told me once that she studied in your batch .
I didn’t probe further . Why did not I look at Rishika’s Facebook friend list before making friends with Priyadarshini. But then I never used FaceBook when I had met Priyadarshini . I cursed myself for being so technologically backward.
As I put the pillow under my head , a serious thought came in my mind . I asked myself , why was I feeing so uneasy on seeing Priyadarshini today . Was it just because of the past , or was it because I still had something for her . But that was not possible because I knew I loved Rishika . Nothing could change that . I had to do something . I thought over … and came up with two options.
When I woke up … I had decided what to do .
…………………………………………………………….
Part 4 will be coming this Thursday.
Thanks for reading.

Dedicated to my group Badmaash Compnay who have been there when I have needed them , but more importantly so … even when I have not …

And to Ranjan Laha , my friend whose advice has helped my writing be whatever it is ……..

The Story so far …

Prakarsh Tiwari is doing his MBA at the Indian Institute of Welfare and Management . He is the events co-ordinator of his batch , has got a cool gang Badmaash Company which has Preety , Vibha , Nitu , Ankita as its other members . Life is almost perfect . Only trouble is that he is in love with a Brahmin girl who studied with him in Class 12. And that kind of changes everything ………

Terms you need to understand :

PARADIGM is the annual alumni meet of the Indian Institute of Welfare and Management . It is held during a Saturday evening . There is dance , loads of fun , and ofcourse beer .
Placement trips take place once a year where students travel to the metros and meet companies and introduce their B School.

OF SOMETHING CALLED LOVE …..

The love story of a Brahmin boy ….. its complicated.


CHAPTER 2
LOST AND FOUND

Even with the music playing at stupendous decibel levels, I felt the vibration of my cell phone. She had received the message sent her. “Meet me near the library at 9”. I looked at my watch. 8.55 pm. Time to go. As I walked down the corridor my eyes instantly caught the huge banner for the event tonight, PARADIGM 09. I passed room number 401. Students had lined up with coupons to have their share of free beer. I kept walking. Shahid Pervez of the junior events team was asking an alumni (almost desperately), “ Please give me your cell number , I need to update the database.” I smiled. Some students had already started feasting on the dinner. I just peeped into the lounge room where the event had been inaugurated. I saw my gang. Preety was busy pestering an alumni with something. Nitu Kaur was chatting with a senior who I heard had just got placed in IDBI . She looked at me and quickly turned around. Ha ha , GOTCHA….now I will tease her forever , I thought . I kept walking. Just near the entrance of the corridor ,Surya Sarathi , placement coordinator of the junior batch was talking to girl , “Chipak ke rehna mujhse , tuhje placement dilaa dunga .” I giggled . I knew this guy had talent . As I descended down the steps on my way to the library , I saw Tuhina and Ruchi , of the senior events team . “Prakarsh ,ek photo le na hum dono ki .” As I was clicking their picture a strange thought occurred to me .How come both my senior and the junior events team is present . But I didn’t have time to ponder over such useless matters. I descended to the third floor and looked around . The library . She was not there . Even on the third floor I could hear the faint noise of the music . Then I heard footsteps. I looked up and there she was. Rishika Bhardwaj , the girl of my dreams . I had seen her in a saree only once before, years ago. She looked splendid in the blue saree of hers, almost angelic. She was sweating because she had been dancing . Panting , she came near me and smiled . “ Hi .” , she said . I did not say anything to her. I had to do it today . I looked around . Grandfather was not there . Phew…. Grandfather always used to say that if a Brahmin met a girl alone , he was destined to rot in hell . I would take that chance tonight . I moved closer to her . Thankfully she did not move back . At one point I was so close ,I could smell her fragrance . I stopped . My physics friend at Presidency had told me that gravitational force operated between any two objects. I hoped that gravity would do the rest of the job . 10 seconds passed . Nothing happened . Bloody gravity . I decided no more depending on that maniac Newton and his laws of attraction ,I would have to do it myself . I put my right hand around her waist , almost casually . As if Mr. Baccchan suddenly popped up in my head , two options kept ringing in my gray matter , lips or the cheek , lips or the cheek , lips cheek , lips cheek ….. She closed her eyes .Wow she had put a mystic blue mascara . Stop concentrating on the mascara you idiot . Lips or cheek .lips or cheek . And then ………I kissed her on the forehead . It felt good . I looked at her . She just smiled at me . I hugged her gently . At that moment I wanted the time to freeze . I just wanted that this moment to last forever. Suddenly she spoke , “Pranu , o pranu .please remove your soft and pulpy butts .” I smiled . Pranu ??? This was the name Sushovan had given me during the placement trips that was to take place next year in 2010 . Strange . And Rishika’s voice sounded almost like Sushovan’s. I didn’t give this matter much thought . I was still holding her in my arms . She spoke again , “Pranu , please do your huggie now .If I enter the bathroom you will have to hagofy later” I felt someone touching my butt , almost sensuously . Control Rishika , this isn’t the time . But as I was about to tell her that , the image blurred , she was disappearing , going , going gone .

I opened my eyes . Sushovan Roy was staring at me with a wicked smile.
“Where are we ?” , I asked Sushovan .
Sushovan laughed and said , “Banglore , where else you dumbass . Placement trips.”
“ What is the year ?” I asked , not ready to be duped again .
“2010 my pranu .”
Even I was surprised at the irrationality of the dream . Rishika was doing her M.Tech at the Benaras Hindu University. When logic enters your dreams , nightmare follows .
“Kya hua ?” Sushovan asked ?
“ Arrey ek kiss miss ho gaya .” I said and went into the bathroom .
But then that was the closest I had ever gone to Rishika . It was a dream , but it would always remain very close to my heart.

I had never had the luck of talking with Rishika as much as I would have liked . Here I would like to make a few things clear , I never felt an emotion as strong as love when I was studying with her in Kendriya Vidyalaya . For a Brahmin love is a very dangerous word , because it always comes with an asterix marked above it saying ‘CONDITIONS APPLY’ . First , a Brahmin can never marry outside his caste , ofcourse there are the bravehearts but I am not one of those . Secondly a Brahmin is always expected to obey his parents decision on the choice of the girl . Its almost a contract deal that comes along with your caste . Thirdly , once you do manage to zero in on a girl , other CONDITIONS APPLY creep up , kundali , nakshatra , planets , orbits , bla bla bla . To make it easier for you people to understand , rebels are not the norms in my community . Ofcourse in Bengal I do see a lot of rebels who have married outside their caste . I was a Sandalyia gotra Brahmin . Ma had explained to me that Hindus had this strange grading system and Sandalya gotra was the highest grade . My actions would be a reflection of my gotra and hence as a Brahmin I would have to be very careful about the deeds that I do . I hope I have been able to explain the collateral damage that comes with being a Brahmin .Not that I knew about Rishika’s caste or was bothered about it . I was enchanted by her beauty , her smile , her teeth , I was fascinated by the fact that probably for the first time God had really concentrated on his job at hand and made something which could be classified as classy across the classes and the masses.

My first interaction with Rishika was when our school had a science exhibition . She had made a logic gate with diodes . I went near her exhibit . She smiled at me . I felt strange .
“ Yeh kaise kaam karta hai ?” I asked her .
She gave me some strange theory that I could not decipher . Ramesh , my friend who was listening to her explanation exclaimed , “ Hum log ka chopa (fool)bana rahi ho ?”
I looked at him and wondered….. Why did I have to bring him with me ? I had already had a terrible day , missed the school bus , entered the school late, got scolded by the principal and now the one chance I had with the most beautiful girl of my class and this guy was doing his level best to mess it up .
Rishika felt offended . “ Get lost if you want a better logic .” She looked at me and walked away .
I just looked up at the skys and said to the Alimighty , “If you are doing all this , because you love me , please God… love me less .”
We( Rishika and I ) did not talk for the next six months .

My first big break so as to say came when I got a chance to host along with her on a radio talk show . The talk show organizers had asked all Kendriya Vidyalayas of that region to air a half an hour program . Rishika and me were selected as the hosts for our school . I remember, as our group was returning after the talk show had been recorded , she sat beside me in the bus . We started talking about our performances first and then the conversation shifted from the general to the specific . I came to know about her family , her friends and a lot more . That was day I learned more about her than I had done all these months.
Time almost flew , and as two years passed , it was time to bid adieu to our carefree life and start thinking about ways by which the rest of our lives would be messed up. Its as if someone hands you an entry pass that says ADULTS ONLY and all our lives we are left doing serious stuff just to maintain the validity of that pass. Rishika got admitted to an engineering college in Delhi . I had messed up my entrance exams for that college and so missed a chance of a life time . I got admitted in a Bgrade engineering college in Kolkata that had C grade faculty and D grade placements. It was six months later that I decided that engineering was not my forte .At that time the Government was really worried about the rising fiscal deficit and since that sounded like a real cool term I decided to study Economics . So next year , I somehow managed to crack the entrance test of Presidency College for Economics and got myself admitted there .

By the way if you were wondering about what turn my would be love life took , let me tell you it went dead …. Like our BSNL telephone lines do during the monsoons . I lost contact with her . Didn’t have her cell number . For the first two months , I frantically looked for her face or name among model agency websites , matrimonial sections of the newspaper , and even the show India’s Most Wanted , but no sign of her . Then I turned my radar to the latest fad called the internet. I Facebooked , Orkuted and yes even Twittered about everything from my nocturnal bowel movements to the Keyensian Model of Macroeconomics ( the latter did reduce my number of followers on Twitter by half ). But there was no sign of Rishika . As I had mentioned earlier , I never felt an emotion as strong as love for her then . It was just that she was a person I really wanted to know . but alas it was not to be .

In Presidency College certain incidents and events changed my life forever . I would never want to go back to those days nor try to remember those events . But let me tell you ,the first two years of my three year Economics Graduation changed me completely . I lost all my interest in life , in career and more importantly …..in friends .
………………………………………
I was reading a brochure ऑफ़ DRAMATIES while returning in the train ,DRAMATIES, the annual Drama festival that Presidency College organized . Two years before I would have killed to be a part of it . Now … it didn’t matter . nothing did .
“Excuse me , can you please move a little ?” , a voice said to me .
I turned around …. and we both stared at each other .
Rishika was the one who recovered first , “ Prakarsh , wow … I never imagined I would …. Wow ..”
“ Its great to see you again .” I just wanted to tell her how badly I had been searching for her for the first two months , how messy my life had become last year , about all my pains and everything ….
“ What are you doing in Kolkata ?” I asked .
“ Arrey do mahine ka project hai . ISI mein .” she replied .
“ You return by this train everyday ?” , I asked . Please say yes , please say yes , please say yes .
“ Yes , more or less . How are your studies going ?”
“Don’t even bother asking ?”
“ Hey , Shyamnagar aa gaya .” , she descended from the train and looked at me . “ Hope to meet you again .”
I hope so too , I wanted to tell her . But I just smiled .
As I was returning home , my cycle tyre got punctured .
I looked up at the skys and said , If you are doing all this because you love me , please God love me less.
Luckily the train timings for our return journey back home synchronized . It was as if God had felt pity on my pathetic life and send some one I could talk to . I would invariably come early and keep a seat for her in the train. Rishika as usual would arrive at the last moment and say , “Phew , managed to get the train at last .”
One day as we were returning , she asked me about DRAMATIES .
“How do you know about DRAMATIES .” I quizzed her .
“ My friend from Jadavpur told me . She is doing a play . You ofcourse must be doing it too .”
I didn’t reply.
“Helooo , anybody home ? Prakarsh don’t tell me you haven’t given your play for shortlisting .”
“I am not interested in all this anymore .” , I remarked . The pitch of my voice was on the higher side . All the way back , she didn’t talk .
When she was leaving , she told me , “ Prakarsh , this is not you . We may not have talked in Kendriya Vidyalaya much , but I still know something . You should be giving your plays , you are a great writer and a far better actor.. That is what makes you what you are .”
That whole night I couldn’t sleep .

A day after DRAMATIES ended , I was eagerly waiting for Rishika . When she arrived , she almost neglected me and took her seat .
“Rishika , I have something to tell you .” I said .
“First I need to tell you something . You should have played the part of the protagonist and not the villain . “
And then she smiled , mischievously . I looked at her stupefied , as if Harry Potter had just stumped me frozen with the chant “Petrificus Totalus”
“ Don’t tell me you were there in my college , in Derozio Hall ,watching my play , and I never had an inkling of an idea .” I remarked , still not out of the shock .
She chuckled . “ Dekha …”
“But … how did you know that I would be doing the play ? lt was so very last moment”
She looked at me in the eyes , a look that made me feel both vulnerable and strong at the same time .
“Friends know , Prakarsh . That’s why they are friends.”

That night after dinner when Ma was taking the dishes ,after dinner , I helped her . While wiping one of them , I asked her non chalantly , “ Ma .what caste is Bhardwaj .”
“Bhardwajs are Brahmins . Why do you ask ?”
“Umm ..aise hi .” I remarked while my heart pumped an extra litre of blood In my body to congratulate me on fulfilling one of the criteria mentioned in the CONDITIONS APPLY.

When the two months ended , I felt as if I was losing Rishika again,only this time I knew I had feelings that were much more stronger than before . Her project at ISI was complete and she was leaving . I remember how I watched her train leave from the Howrah station . Her parents had come to see her off and so she had asked me not to come to the station . But I had stealthily managed to sneak near her compartment without her parents noticing me . I hid myself behind a crate of Coca Cola , waiting for the train to leave . I wanted time to freeze . I wanted to ask God for one wish … Bring the last two months back .. please … I looked around . May be like a Sharukh khan movie, she would see me and rush out of her compartment . The train should start moving by then or else the desired melodrama would not be produced . And I , like Mr. Sharukh Khan would run , with my arms extended and finally grab her . What would her parents be doing while all this action would be taking place was something that I was least interested in . I looked at her father . Well , he did look like Amrish Puri . That was encouraging , I told myself .Suddenly the engine coughed out smoke and the train started moving and I realized two fundamental things, firstI was no Sharukh Khan ….. and second this was no happy ending Bollywood

flick

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That night I cried . As I had done last year .
Suddenly my Sony Erricsson 550i started ringing .
“ Whats up hero ?”
“ Rishika ? Its 1 in the morning . Sona nahi hai kya ?”
“I cannot sleep . Tell me the story from your blog .”
I looked at the watch again . “ You are serious ?”
“ Yep” , she replied .
The next twenty minutes a girl lying down ,on the middle berth of Rajdhani Express made a boy in Kolkata read out a story which she could have read any time in the future . But for some strange reason , the boy from Kolkata did not mind this a bit . Not an iota.
“ I will really miss our return journeys together .” , she said after I had told her the seventh time to go to sleep .
I will really miss you Rishika . I wanted to tell her . But some how , the words got lost within me .
That night as I looked up from my window at the starry sky , I found the moon to be a lot brighter , the starts to be more in number . I went near the window and looked up at the sky .
“If you are doing all this because you love me ….. believe me you are doing a damn good job boss .”
And then I fell asleep.
………………………………………….
A story by Pranay Tiwari.

Chapter 3 ….
The past that changed his life will come back to haunt him again ……
Next week.